Further to previous: Personality type thoughts

I was sent a few e-mails about my last post,  (Thank you) suggesting that they mostly agree with my self-evaluation, however, I should find out my Myers-Briggs personality type, as it could give me a reason why I’m possibly maybe flipping to what is called the “Inferior function” in my personality in certain situations.

So, I did, and here are my results (There was an Enneagram Test in the same place as well):

Myers-Briggs type
ISFP – “Artist”. Interested in the fine arts. Expression primarily through action or art form. The senses are keener than in other types. 8.8% of total population.


Enneagram Test Results

Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 46%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||||||||| 73%
Type 4 Sensitivity |||||| 26%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||||| 73%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 63%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||| 60%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||||||| 86%

Your main type is 9
Your variant is sexual

Main type

Personality tests by similarminds.com

So, I shopped around for some more information:

I must admit, the ISFP personality page from the test site seemed to have a great many negative words associated with it. I can accept their “pocket definition” easily enough, I’m so not comfy with the extended traits page at all. More thought required there! However, the Wikipedia page is a lot more expanded and helpful… 🙂

As to the Ennneagram Number? Reading the potted and then the expanded Wikipedia descriptors, I feel that is pretty bang on actually, including that my Vice type (“deadly sin”) is sloth… I can be very unmotivated/unmoving if there is nothing that *has* to be achieved… Oh, and is anyone that knows me at all surprised at my varient? 😉

So, now I need to learn how this information will help me.

I’ve a communication issue to resolve…

It’s been pointed out to me, that my communication style is somewhat argumentative.  This goes against my previous belief about myself that I’m not that combative, rather placid and easygoing in my communications.

I tend to like to choose words with care, and am very aware of what power they have… I love e-mail for this very reaons, I can pick and chose the words that come out of my fingers, go back ans revise, shape and hone them, so that they deliver 100% of my intent correctly

I’ve never been good at “on-the-fly-demand-of-me” type conversation – as a listener, I’m generally nodding and making encoraging noises to people.  When I have to speak about me an myself, I tend to leave gaps in my speech flow as I search for the correct words, that more talkative people want to fill with their own words.

So, to be labled as “argumentative”? The whole concept was puzzling to me. 

In the last few months, I’ve felt that I wasn’t receiving communication from the people I care about because of their styles conflicting with mine, or that they simply didn’t want to discuss with me the issues I needed information about… as we would start the conversation, then we’d seemingly tangent/get diverted, and the conversation would abruptly stop, usually with either silence and/or anger being directed at me by the other person.

However,  why this behaviour from others is occuring was both (finally!) described and then very blatently demonstrated to me last night.

It really shocked me that I’ve got such a negative and combative trigger programmed in my communication style when I’m seeking understanding or clarifications on points… That I’m the one derailing the conversations, and either turning them into a pedantic argument about the meaning of a word, or leaping in with a defensive or corrective comment to the other person, usually before the sentence is completely out of their mouth.

I have to resolve this issue, it’s ruining my relationship with T.  As yet, I’ve not a clue how to start though…

Life and how things Snowball…

This post is about “Decorating” – I talked about it a little a while ago, how it “has morphed from doing a little sorting out and painting to make the place nicer for T and I to share properly, into actively rewiring the house as a pre-phase I action!”

Let me expand on these thoughts…

It was at the end of March that T and I had the conversation about him moving into my house and making it our home.  We both knew that it would take a bit of work, as I’ve said before, I pretty much pitched up in the House, put all of my stuff from various phases of my previous life down, and didn’t really sort it out.

What I really didn’t anticipate was how long it would take to get what seemed to be a simple decision sorted, and also the depth/scale of work that would actually be needed to do the job correctly.

When it was decided that we would start to decorate etc etc, it was rather necessary to get a large amount of “Don’t need it now” stuff out of the house again, either by storing it or disposing of it, either via Freecycle, the Skip or the charity shop.

So, what I had already unpacked got mostly repacked again…
I went through my paperwork and threw away so much of it it was untrue (in fact, I’m sure there is a box of paperwork in my storage unit that just needs shredding!)…
Rationalised my things, took clothes, nick-nacks, old bed linens, Cutlery, and all the other assorted random things that would be of value to someone else but not to me down to the charity shop…
T removed the Carpet from most of upstairs, chopped it up and threw it away bit by bit in the Estate bins…

Then, booked and took a week off work at the end of April with T to start work. We took stuff to the Storage Unit, and the “spare” Furniture to a Friend’s Lockup. The horrid horrid Ivy that dominated the Wall of the Back Garden got taken down & shredded, T sanded the upstairs Floors, I grabbed the Laminate Floor from Mum’s Garage to get it laid downstairs, we made plans about what needed to get done next…

That’s where we then stopped for 3 months…  With KF4 being a major reason why.  Life started cracking by at a too-fast fast pace, all of my spare (and not so spare!) hours were taken up with the KF Admin, whilst T started revising for ITIL practitioner exams (without actually making it clear until “later” that he was a) taking any exams anyway, and b) that this is had to be a priority in his life. That caused a large amount of friction I can tell you…)

July comes around, and The Friend with the lookup needs their space back, (which is fair enough, considering I’d said it would be for a month max!) so, I arrange the needed time off, a van etc etc. It then comes back to a house that doesn’t really have space for it, the bookshelves get dismantled, and the carcasses are sitting with the single bed in the corner of the living room, along with the flat-pack Metal Shed we bought in August to erect and store it all in…

Piled at the other end of the living room are the shelves from the bookshelves, a IKEA STEN shelving unit to get errected in the little room when it’s sorted, and some random bits of useful woods… from where the walls got dismantled in June.

The walls?  Dismantled? I hear you say… Yep, dismantled walls…

Why? Because, when I mentioned to my friend K that I was decorating, and was painting the big bedroom to try and motivate T again, he said “Well… painting it is fair enough, but given all the other stuff that really needs doing to make the building safe, isn’t that a little like polishing a turd?”

So, we embarked on a plan for rewiring. It’s needed, don’t get me wrong, the wire & fuse board is 50 or so, (I believe the house is vintage 1956) and the upstairs hall-light socket especially was unsafe (Lots of nice charred wood around that when we took it down!)

So, one June weekend, we ripped up floors, and ripped down walls… the walls being made of wood, not plaster.

In reality though, as K is my in the know rewire-er type dude, and his life has also taken a turn for the busy, progress on that is slow. We’ve had 3 weekends where we’ve all been free to put wires in, and although we need a final push on that, there are still 6 or so to go in, including 2 30A heavy duty buggers to pull, which are not going to be easy!

I mentioned a shed… I bought a 10’x8′ metal shed in August, after Freecycling Granddad’s Greenhouse. Reasons for this were many-fold, mostly however, so that I could stop paying for the storage unit, and get all the other stuff in Downstairs out.

However, T didn’t realise that Metal sheds do not ship with floors. The fact that we have to construct a solid base rather than just make the ground flat then lay the wooden Base&Floor on top threw him for 6, and so, although we got the groundwork sorted in early September, getting concrete into that has not. The weekends that we’ve so far been all been free to try to get this sorted? The weather has thwarted us BIG style.

This is a real sticking point in the plan, as without getting the shed built, we haven’t got the room to shift everything out to create space to work downstairs so we can put up ladders, and trunk out the walls to get cables and switches required installed.

So, we live in chaos, most of the stuff in the house (apart from the Kitchen) has no “home” to be tidyed into, so stuff is crowding in on us both in our room and all of downstairs, and there are holes in the landing & two of the three bedrooms. There is also a mother that stresses out big style every time she thinks about the project and then flaps at me (which I can understand, but I do wish she would deal with it differently, being yelled at is not on my list of fun activites), and a hole in my finances that I really cannot cover unless I either work 2 weekends a month OT (Which isn’t always available), or just don’t eat/have fun.

It’s all doing my nut in. BIG time.