What to do when you lack inspiration?

Warning, this one is a littel bit ranty!!!

I seem to be a little bit “stuck” right now. I’ve not got a great deal of creative activities in life, and the all consuming decoration has made the house into a disaster zone.

A great deal of “My Stuff” has been in storage since the end of  May, costing me a week’s rent every month, that I cannot really afford to pay out.

I’m still knitting, which is a good thing, but my stash is in the storage, so I’m buying yarn rather than using up (Mind you, I’m nearly finished a new booga bag, after having lost my original to a washing machine accident… I don’t think I ‘blogged that sad event!) which isn’t that ecconomical.

I’m not dyeing, because all the equipment and the white yarn are in storage, and the house being a disaster zone means that even if I did have the stuff out, I’d not have the space to “play”.  I also didn’t have the money to take Fluffenstuff to IKnitDay, which is a very very sad thing, and the business is very stagnant right now. I haven’t had an enquiry since March I think, despite advertising.

I’m not really getting the time to play with my websites, because work is being far too manic… Fluffenstuff in particular needs LOTS of attention, as I did a WordPress/WP-ShoppingCart update to it in July which deleted all of the on-site pictures! So, even if people were surfing me, there’s nothing there for them to see!

Work itself is dull dull dull, not really giving me much brain-food, and is stealing far too many of my weekends to be quite sane, and sapping my energies ahead of when I do get time for other stuff.

The decorating has morphed from doing a little sorting out and painting to make the place nicer for T and I to share properly, into actively rewiring the house as a pre-phase I action! This necessitates having holes in the first floor floors & walls,  which wouldn’t be a problem, if you could take a decent run at it… but it’s being squeezed into free weekends, and the gods know that there are not that many of them about, especially when every other weekend is taken up with children, and the ones left over fit our social life and other commitments into them!

Given also that it’s my mate Karl who’s the electrickerly minded one and so far not many of his free weekends have co-incided with our free weekends to actually make progress, the holes have been there for about 4 months and you can see why I’m living in a rather depressing, non-inspirational situation right now.

This lack of inspiration and motivation generally turns into a downward spiral of inactivity on my part. ie, My Computer desk has become a universal dumping ground. It is getting very out of hand,  as there is nowhere else for the stuff to live, so in typical Nikki fashion, I’m ducking clearing it up at all, and so the situation is getting worse ad nausia.

I *need* to break the cycle… and I need to stop finding excuses to avoid doing so. It’s difficult though, very difficult.

Did you know?

Yesterday (19th September) was International Talk like a Pirate day.

However, I’ll be betting that more of ‘ee know about this pretty little flibbert o’ fun than the fact that tomorrrow (21st September) be International World Peace Day. Gharr.

So, you scurvy landlubbers, I thought I’d do me bit, and tell ‘ee about both.

One day, I’m hoping that my little bit of just banging on about it will have everyone actually caring more about the latter.

I do the like the pub where AngelKnits is held…

There is an old guy called Ken that is a Perennial customer. He’s always at the bar, in exactly the same place every week, doing the crossword as we knit.  He’s a little down at heal, and smells slightly, but is a good man at heart.

It appears this week that the landlord (Matt) offered him a DVD player and speakers.  The Duty manager was very insistant on trying to help Ken get it home as well…

It might not be the cheapest pub ever, but The New Rose is one of the friendliest. 🙂

You ever get one of those days…

… where you want to write, but have no clue what to say?

I’m feeling decidedly restless today (Which when I started writing this post, was Friday 29th August 2008). We were out last night for Ray’s leaving do. An Australian, he’s been in the UK 4 years, and is finally heading back home. So, as is right and proper, we gave him a hootenany send-off… Which means that I have a rather large hangover.

At work, I’m waiting for information, and can’t get on with work until this is sorted, so, I thought I’d use the time, and the verbosity that I gain when ME=TIRED to write some stuff down.

As you all know, I’ve mentioned before that Twitter’s pretty much “stolen” my ‘blog. It’s like a pressure cooker valve, it lets the steam out in little bitty bits to stop an explosion… but really, the pressure is still there…

So, thought I’d use this restless energy to write the KinkFest 4 blog. You may well all remember the KF3 blog, which was an event in my life which huge emotional connotations, given that as a group we were trying to pull off something with extreme ambition, at a time when I was personally going through Granddad dying, and the emotional fall out for both myself and family that goes with that…

So, it was with mixed emotions and a littel bit of wistful memories in my head that I headed into the final approach for KF4, which was on August 2nd 2008.

The 8 weeks before however, were a blizzard of work. You see, as a group, Unfettered are run by comittee, and as a group, even though we booked Conway Hall, a lovely but “not very large” venue for KF4 on 17th December 2007, we then titted about until the end of May 2008 to actually say “Yes, we’ve looked and can’t find anywhere else that is bigger/better/available, let’s just go for it!”

So, pretty much, having had a classic case of “hurry-up-and-wait” for 5 months, I then spent most of my work days doing the day-job and answering the plethora of e-mails that organising a KF by committee always generates, so that in the evenings, I’d them have the time to write the shed-load of e-mails needed to co-ordinate people&events for both Stage and also this time for Stalls, as well as the asking/talking, pulling favours, getting lucky with finding “Needed things for No Money” and so generally doing a “day’s work” on KF stuff when I got home of an evening…

Trying to do 4-5 months work in 8 weeks lead to a lot of stress, both for the team, and for our lives. I managed to gain a massive distance to T that we are only really now resolving (and it’s also thrown some flaws in our relationship that we were previously “ignoring” into sharp relief, and I’m not quite sure how to recover from that…)

Needless to say, I was pretty much running on 5 hours sleep a night, if I was lucky, with some, but not much, catch -up at weekends… Now, given that I cope well with a certain level of sleep deprivation, I thought it would be “OK”, but I actually discovered my limits, and pretty much ended up clinicly exhausted, just like after KF3…

The day itself went off smooth enough, but it wasn’t without large amounts of background trauma, mostly created by the inescapable fact that running anything via committee means that it takes ages to get stuff done, as “everyone” has a voice in every area. Now, I made the choice a long while ago that my sections are a dictatorship. This means that I run politics for my team with the committee, I take the choices made from the options my team present to me to the committee, which gives a “good management” structure… which means that the job gets done, and buck stops with me if it doesn’t.

However, the “ratification” of choices always generates many pointless “back&forth” e-mails.

For instance, the person that decided they would not help organise KF4 as they did not like the venue we had booked, after catagorically stating that they wanted nothing to do with it at all, chose to snipe, bitch and “offer suggestions” from the sidelines.  We also have a person that feels the need to comment and ask for further explanation on pretty much every e-mail on every subject, even when it is nothing to do with them. This gives you some clue as to why this KF generated 2557 e-mails in 8 weeks.

The other hazzard of doing “business via e-mail” is that not everyone can write…   I made a doozy of a bad choice, accepting a massive amount of very required help from someone who is blinding at what they do, but is the most plain speaking person I know.  I didn’t know however that their very blunt and plain speaking manner carries over from their “personal communication style” e-mails into their “business communication style”  e-mails. This caused me and others on the KF team a great deal of fall-out, giving us a great deal of out-of-joint noses to deal with. More generally, there was a fair share of soft-toy and perambulator disassociation exercises from all concerned in all areas along the way as well.

Still, the challenges were overcome, and a good day was put on.  I won’t/can’t say “great”… There wasn’t enough time for “great”, and the venue had limitations preventing us from having the same amount of things going on as KF3…

Mind you, we are all mad enough to sign up for KF5, which this time will get far more productive planning and not suffer as much from committee death… as the three people mentioned above are not going to be invovled, funnily enough.