I so understand why Granddad had a headache…

It was because of all the ruddy paper dust! I found myself holding my forehead in exactly the same manner as Granddad used to, and my nose was blocked solid for about 3 hours after I left!

Anyway, Sunday afternoon was spent hip deep in old paperwork. Nothing “new” to report from it, and as regards this sort through it. I think we’ve broken the back of it though, we’ve created 7 bags of recycling so far, and found lots of relevant paperwork amoungst the envelopes. We even found a still valid bankbook shoved in one of Nany’s old handbags, rather than i the organised folder, so that is all good.

Not sure when we are going in next. but I’m not looking forward to the sinus pain from it, I can tell you.

We also found some bits and bobs relating to me. I discovered that I sign my name now in the same sort of way that my Dad did in 1971, which was very freeky.

Apparently, I did something on Tuesday that Girls don’t usually do

I was one of Granddad’s Pallbearers.

I don’t really see this as a big deal, after all, he’d been supporting me in one way or another for most of my life, so it seemed only right and fitting to return the favour.

But the look of swiftly concealed shock on the Head Bearer’s face when I stepped up was priceless. Given that I’m not exactly a shrinking violet though, as tall as Adam (Granddad’s Eldest Grandson, 4 years younger than me) and Robin (Uncle Ted’s Eldest Son, about the same age as my Mum) although Aiden (Youngest Grandson, 10 years younger than me) is a 6’5 bean pole, and I reckon I’m heavier than all three of them, with broad shoulders as well, it really wasn’t a problem.

He was far lighter than I’d expected as well, everyone was saying how heavy the coffin would be, but it wasn’t at all. It was a very easy lift all told, mind you, I was at the foot end. They really aren’t really designed for lifting either, you would think that they would put a groove in the bottom to assist with grip, but obviously, no-one has ever thought of that.

Still it went off without hitch. There were a great deal of people both Friends and Family, we played him in and out to the Charlton Athletic theme song “Red Red Robin”, and he had a Charlton Flag overhis Coffin. I cried quite a bit before we headed off to the service, (but the Big Box of Cry is still quite full), The Vicar was a lady called Brenda, Mum’s friend Peter give a good eulogy, Auntie Mary wore a very white blouse, and Pepe’s Cousins seemed inappropriate. One of them sat in Grandddad’s Chair at the Wake, and didn’t take the hint to move when we told her it was His Chair.

So, its nearly all done. Regarding the “physical” stuff, it’s just the Paperwork on Sunday. The Solicitor is sorting out all the Probate stuff for us, and I’m having a good natter with Mum on Sunday about Mortgages and Cousin Susan. We will need to get the Headstone updated, as he is sharing with Nanny, and I probably need to go see it once it is sorted this time.

Thoughts from a “4 Things” MEME I was sent recently

Four places I would rather be right now:

  1. Seriously, anywhere but work…
  2. Probably on a Hill somewhere, where there is mellow late summer
    sunshine, a good breeze and with a Mobile Number my family don’t know…
  3. On holiday in Somerset already. and I don’t really want to come back.
  4. In bed, with a warm duvet, crying whilst I get seriously hugged by
    someone who cares enough to know why I’m crying, and just lets me do it
    properly for once.

I’m still here… just about.

Don’t worry, its not all totally doom and gloom.

I’m just not really cool with being used as the unpaid Counsellor for both Mum and Auntie Mary, who suddenly decided to start calling me, and venting her frustrations at me about how she felt that my Mum was not asking her about Granddad’s stuff, but rather just doing stuff and telling her about it afterwards…But not exactly in the calm and measured tones I’m using here.

Auntie Mary has a very shrill voice unfortunately. Plah! is all I have to say about that situation!

However, what I think they have both selectively forgotton is that not only have I lost my Grandfather, I’ve also lost “My Father”

For better or worse in my life, my Mum was not allowed to stay with my biological Dad (Granddad’s very first controlling act in my life!) after I was born, and as Mum had to go back to work after I was born, Nan and Granddad pretty much raised me when she wasn’t there during the day.

NB: I was much wanted by both Parents, which is all good… I also think that Auntie Mary
had just got Married, so I suspect that my Mum was looking to settle as well, after all, it was 1970, and getting married around 19-22 was very common then!

Mum has told me how my Dad went with her to get me registered, and insisted on me having his name, him being on the birth cert and all that jazz. Apparently, he even asked her to marry him, but was scared off by Granddad for whatever reasons. I also know that his Parents bought me a load of “Linens” and my Pram. So, everyone must have felt responsibility before it all apparently went Pete Tong for them…

I have no clue where he is now though. I sort of want to find out, but not really. Possibly too complex.

However, when all is said and done, I was effectively Nan and Granddad’s 3rd child and Granddad was to all intents and purposes my Dad as well as well as my Granddad.

What a tangled web eh?