Death smells of Lavendar…

Some people may find this offensive or feel it isn’t fitting to talk about, so just move along…

Go look at Bunny Movies instead

Its strange, Granddad pretty much hasn’t eaten anything for nearly a month now. But he is sick at least twice a day, and brings up green bile.

Its Sludgy, looks like he has been eating Grass, and strangly, as I found out today, it really smells of Lavendar. I always thought that the “Old Lady’s Smell” was just the thing that happens to old ladies, I never really wondered why their houses smelled that way… I walked into Granddad’s house just before he went to hospital, and was quite shocked to discover his house having the “Old Lady” smell, but I had no idea why…

Well, this afternoon, he threw unexpectedly, so we didn’t catch it in the sick bowl. I got a fair old whack of it over my hand. I’ve washed it 6 times, and it still smells of Lavendar.

Biology is so strange sometimes…

Too many thoughts in my head.

So, you are going to get Bullet points.

  1. Granddad is in a Hospice.
    • Despite all his “false stops”, he is quite perky really. He is on pain relief, but not Morphine, so still communicative. All good. His greatest fear was to lose his mind to the Drugs.
    • He is stronger than we all thought he would be, but really so weak and frail it is unreal. For all of his illness over the last 13 years, the actual final decline part has been so fast really. I’d sort of love for him to get better, but we all know that isn’t happening… But then, Granddad is a stubborn bugger, so you can never tell with him.
    • Auntie Mary is being not cool about The Will at all… I suspect that it is going to get VERY messy once Granddad does die.
    • She is not happy that Mum gave me some of Nanny’s Jewelery. She yelled at Mum big time for doing it. However, as Nanny gave it to me (“Your Auntie Mary will sell it, and your Mum will lose it, so I’m giving it to you Nikola.”) I’m not feeling guilty in the slightest. She already took a Crucifix from it a while back, which is one piece too many was far as I’m concerned. Mum wants me to “be generous” and give some of it to Auntie Mary for Claire-Louise, but as far as I’m concerned, if they want to fight me for my property, bring it on. Verbal contract is Verbal Contract.
    • Mum is “stable”, she has made her peace with Granddad, but I’m on Schrapnel fall-out duty big-style. More due to Auntie Mary agitating Mum than anything else!
  2. Kinkfest is Friday.
    • It seems like it has been a short 7 months since I said I’d do the Management for the “Stage” section of the event! If I’m not ready now, I never will be. There are a few finishing touches I need to do and a e-mails I need to send, but generally, right now, I can’t wait until it is over.
    • It does mean that I’m not going to get a lot of sleep over the weekend… and inevitably, because it is the most awkward time for me, I reckon Granddad will die Thursday or Friday.
    • I have Tommorow, Friday and Monday booked off of work to be there, and a StreetCar to cart stuff about. So, apart from the emotional ride I’m getting from it, on top of Granddad, KF is costing me about £400 in lost wages and £105 Car hire. I’ll expense some of it back to Unfettered Ltd, but I know I’m not up for being this involved with it all again next year. Not as bad as other though, I know one fo the crew that lost the hace for a promotio, because she has to attend a council licensing meeting for us! Not good.
  3. Matt e-mailed me.
    • When your psycotic Ex gets back in touch, just at the wrong point in life, it gives you more thoughts that you can cope with.
    • Sane head says “Leave well alone girl!”
    • Scorpio Heart says “Revenge…” After all, I’m so not the person that he left 5 years ago… and the best revenge is to live well.
    • Practical Wallet says “but he owes you £1500!”, not that I’ll ever see that, but that comes back to Point above…
    • Either way, I’m not doing anything about it until after the 1&2 are sorted.
  4. Ankle is much better, although, still a touch tender, and swollen to about twice the size of the other ankle.:-(
  5. Love life is “interesting”, has settled down so I don’t have to “worry” about it.
    • “Guru of the Mystic” is becoming a feature. There is progression in fits and starts, I’ve sorted out with him where I tand and what I expect from him in terms of Honesty, and all seems well. I don’t think its ever going to be “great love”, but hey, let’s see where it goes.
    • One of my “Friends with Benefits” seems to have found someone else to get their benefits from… Which actually suits me, as I’ve been trying to get him to not rely som much on me. So, that’s good. 🙂
  6. Work suqs, but then when does it ever not. However, we moved to the Town Hall, which cuts 20 minutes off of my commute, so that is all good! 🙂

I’ve got to make a crust somehow – Crass commercialism it is!

Yep, to help offset some of my hosting costs, I’ve opened up my very own Spreadshirt shop

Have a click, take you pick! I’m going to work on some suitable Vector Graphic artwork for the messenger bags and backpacks, because they look like ideal knitting bags!

Sprains and family – Always an odd combination

My Sprain is doing well, Physio has discharged me. I just need to keep doing my exercises, and he has given me som other exerrcises to do with balance as well to prevent me respraining again. I need to take Carol up on her kind offer of a Wobble board methinks!

As far as Granddad goes, he was “OK” yesterday, The Hospital have said we can take him home if we want to, but he will need 24x7care … Which I know Mum really doesn’t want to do, as she will get stuck being the full time carer. Uncle Ted (Granddad’s Older Brother) backs her up as well, which is good news. I’m sure Auntie Mary may well stick an oar in though, but with all the conflicting viewpoints, and Granddad being back to his nasty abusive self, Mum is going to pieces so fast that I suspect people (ie me) are going to get hit by the schrapnel.

It’s all not good. We shall see what happens…

I’m a little more together now

Despite reports to the contrary, Granddad was just having a Practice run at the whole Death thing… Although, it really is just a matter of time. Eveything is failing now, and the cancer is in control of the issue. *shrug*

He had a heart attack early hours of Friday, and wasn’t expected to last more than 48 hours… They moved him to Critical care, “All” of us visitied Friday afternoon, when he looked very pale, small and weak, and I really though that he was ready to let go. So did the Doctors as they told my Cousin Adien to fly back from Cavos to get there ASAP.

There he is on Saturday though, looking far more himself, joshing us and the nurses and generally being curmudeonly again. Admitedly, I’m guessing the Pump-Morphine is making him “better”, but they are apparently talking about letting him out at the end of the week.

Its all very odd. Still, with Granddad in Hospital, at least Mum is getting help. Although, I’m guessing no sleep.